This is an excerpt from a letter written to my brother serving an LDS mission in Brazil from our brother-in-law and older sister. We tease considerably about insomnia issues in the family. This one particular sister, Rachelle, is incredibly sensitive to sleep...see below how her husband feels about it:) I laughed for days.
"So Kirk,
I wanted to fill in a few holes that Rachelle left out above. When she turns on the fan and puts in the ear plugs and uses the bathroom three times before going to bed, I do tease her. But I tease her that at her current rate of “night time routine” development, by the time we are retired, Rachelle is going to wake up and start preparing to go to bed. Yes she will wake up and do yoga, followed by a breakfast scientifically formulated to provide exactly 14 hours of exuberance. She will then have to take her dogs for a long walk, followed by a similarly formulated lunch. Then meditation, to start calming her mind for the night, which will be followed by reading scriptures, and then reading a bland book that she has read thousands of times before so as not to over excite herself, 4 hours before bed. We will then have a light dinner, and she will start the toiletry process. To actually get to sleep I think she will need the fan, earplugs, a little light reading, I think we will have to have a babbling brook flowing through our room, and a cage full of crickets to sleep her to sleep. What I am trying to say is Rachelle’s nightly routine is a little crazy. But, I do love her madly, so what can I do.
On the subject of sleep I have a prediction. I was realizing just how much of late night people you Koenens are, and when Rachelle was sick she would get up in the middle of the night and read novels – Yes start to finish. So my prediction is that in 30 years Clan Koenen – you know the blood ones – will all go to sleep with their significant others at a reasonable time (this is of course assuming that the boys can find an “Other” that is “Significant”). As soon as all the significant others are out Grandma L.K. will start calling all of her Koenie’s for updates on their days. Kirk will start calling around to share about the latest “Pop News,” and Kelsey will start using whatever latest communication technology to try and “culturize” everyone else to the latest coolest trends. Leslie, will be trying to convince everyone how unhealthy this all is from a psychoanalytic standpoint, and Rachelle will be sending out samples of the latest health foods for all to try. Luke is hard to read still because he is a little young, but my prediction is he’ll either be the ring leader running the whole show and keeping everybody in line or he’ll have finally gotten over his cuddling aversion and be the only one actually cuddling with his wife. Yes, I see you all developing into this secret late night cult behind all of your spouse’s backs.
By the way, we calculated and Rachelle and I will have been married 2000 days on April 19th."
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